Absolute rubbish.

Dear Bill Gates,
It turns out that my excrement is more compatible with Ipod software than your new Windows Vista operating system is. Thought you might like to know. I'd be willing to sell it to you for 50 cents a sack if you'd like. Or I could just deposit a bag of it on your front porch and set it on fire--whichever you'd prefer.

Sincerely,
your friend Nilly