Platonic adj. 3. purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.

Even the brightest men apparently don't understand the definition of platonic relationships or comprehend the significance of my not being available either now nor in the long-term. Which is fucking frustrating, because before I sprouted hips, breasts and self-confidence (just a few short years ago), I always used to hang with boys--I couldn't deal with the baggage of my capricious fellow femmes, and typically sought refuge with the opposite sex instead. I've always easily befriended guys because conversations are generally honest, my hobbies are similar, I like the same sort of writers, and I don't (usually) have to deal with unnecessary drama. But now it appears the male-friend avenue is (at least temporarily) closing, because I find that (short of my friendships with John and Andrew and a few other brotherly or paternal or already-devoted men with heads on their shoulders,) men are invariably disappointed when I wave the white banner of "Friend But Nothing More." They get short and bitter and skulk away, and then things are awkward for months or years thereafter. It's classic.

The key, apparently, is to find those rare female friends who fit the following criterion*:
- don't bitch and backstab and bullshit,
- don't obsess about self-image,
and lastly,
- aren't attracted to me in any sexual manner. (Friends can be lesbian or bisexual or whatever; I couldn't care less, as long as they aren't interested in me that way. Which, for some reason, they often demonstrate themselves to be.
No, I don't get it either.)

*I know that typing this goes against the grain of every pro-feminist principle I generally preach, but the fact is that I do have trouble finding other women with whom I can connect without any superficiality. Suz is one of the only. And my surrogate sister, but I never see her anymore; she camps out in Zigzag.
She would be disgusted at me for writing this.

I'm disgusted that I'm compelled to write it, and that people can't just be chill about things and not expect more of me that I am willing to hand over.
Nobody needs that. It's shite.

Fortunately, I'm tight with most of the karate family (which has a few pretty cool new female members) and Andy's family (a riot) and some of the ladies in my graduate school teaching cohort (fellow geeky teacher girls), and they collectively redeem the rest of humanity in my mind.
But still: grumble.