Sunday, April 22, 2007

A scavenger hunt!

Because he redeems me, makes me laugh, and keeps me sane, warm, and well-fed, (and because he's away from the flat for the first time in about a week,) I am putting together a scavenger hunt for Andy. Observe my nerdy clues, written in obnoxious, loose limerick form, poking fun at formal old English. (Evidence that I have far too much time on my hands.)
(Disclaimer: yes, I know that one shouldn't use terms like "that there" or "this here." Don't much care in this case.)

On the front door:

Some portly young leprechauns
Came by today
To make mystery and mischief
Whilst thou wert away.
We barged into your flat
And made pancakes and tea,
Then we drank all your whiskey--
'Twas a raucous party.
In the wake of our gluttonous, riotous time
We leprechauns left thee a wee likkle rhyme.
Decipher the clues and find photographs too
We hope the reward will make up for our crime.
You'll find clue number one in the Mango Ceylon,
Which after our visit, is mysteriously gone.


Clue #1 (in Mango Ceylon tea cannister; not much of a limerick at all...):
This sonnet quoth famously,
"Summer's lease hath all too short a date."
A white-spined book and the number eighteen
Will lead you to your fate.


Clue #2 (enclosed in sonnet 18 of my book of Shakespeare's sonnets):
This date, not so near
Marked on calendar clear
Is not just for hobgoblins or werewolves that leer...
It's also the start of the Celtic new year
When you run around nude and drink flagons of beer.
(Find it in the loo and you'll be of good cheer.)

Clue #3 (written on bathroom calendar on the date of October 31st):
For this here third clue
All that you need to do
Is Whisk (tm) thee on Down(y) (tm)
All smiley, no frowny
To this veritable shrine of smelly-good goo.
Unlock to reveal what's in stor(ag)e for you.
A pony? A planet? A spiffing fourth clue?
A Lorax? A mail-order bride dressed in blue?


Clue #4 (in locked laundry room cupboard)- a polaroid photo of my hand:
Hands come in pairs
As you're well aware
If Nicole went to bed
To rest her weary head
This hand and its match would lay where?


Clue #5: (under bedcovers where my left hand would be) - another polaroid of my hand pointing out the bedroom window:
If I were you I'd wander
Down that there sidewalk yonder...
I'd find a noble creature, blue
Whose markings told me what to do.


Clue #6: (on a blue chalk-drawn elephant wearing an ornament bearing a Volkswagen symbol, with arrows pointing at its trunk):
Go here, my dear.

Clue #7: (in trunk of my VW Golf)
The prize: a healthy plant of living basil (which Andy loves to cook with) in a large hand-painted terra-cotta pot, hand illustrated in detail by me. And a 6-pack of IPA, because Andy is a hoppy sort of beer aficionado (in a respectable sort of way).

My little prank may be cheesy as all get-out, but I think he'll get a kick of it. Andy is that rare sort of person--unconventional, funny, tolerant of my weirdness, just different and similar enough to fit the bill perfectly for me. He makes me laugh so much that I get hiccups on a daily basis; I am ass over teakettle for him.
As of July of this year, we'll have been together for three years. The future's looking bright.

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